February 1, 2010

10 Things I’d Love To Tell My Younger Self

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , at 7:46 pm by Gina

Hello readers!

I saw this article from another blog I follow and immediately followed the link to read on. From Patricia Volonakis Davis, founder and editor-in-chief of Harlots’ Sauce Radio and e-magazine and author of her own memoir, we get a list of things learned. I’m just going to repeat exactly what she posted (boys you can get something out of this as well):

“I’ve learned some valuable things about life, love and being female over the past half-century. Here is the advice I try to pass on to younger women in my life (family and friends) in the hope that it will save them some precious time:

1) You are at least ten times prettier than you think you are.
That holds true no matter how pretty you already think you are! Don’t believe me? Ask your mother/auntie/grannie if she thought she was pretty when she was twenty. She’ll say, “no.” Then find a photo of her at that age. See what I mean?

2) The only thing you should be faking is confidence.
If you don’t have it yet, pretend you do. In every new situation, pretend you’re not nervous, pretend you’re not afraid. After a few times doing this, the pretend part disappears.

3) Want to try something new, like painting, skiing, running your own business? Go to the library and borrow ten different books on the subject.
Skim through them all, find the ones that have the most vital information and study them. Then see number 2.

4) No matter how old you get, remember what it was like to be a nine-year old girl.
Remember the feeling of freedom. If you’ve already forgotten, do a cartwheel. You can so still do one. Savour that feeling. Wake up with it every day. You’ll stay young until the day you die.

5)In the same vein, cut or potted flowers are never a waste of money.
Because every time we glance at them, they remind us how much beauty there can be in the world.

6) Speaking of money, starting right this moment, whether you’re twenty or sixty, you can change your finances around.
Don’t leave someone else completely in charge,whether it’s your husband, partner, parents or banker. Become financially saavy. Financial independence gives you the freedom to walk away from many bad situations. How do you know you’re in bad situation? See number seven.

7) If your stomach hurts and you haven’t got a virus, you’re in a bad situation.
Before you know what it is, your stomach always does. Give yourself some time to ponder what it might be that’s making your stomach hurt. Chances are you already do know, you just don’t want to believe it, for some reason. You can ignore advice from your friends, even your own brain, but you can’t ignore your stomach, because the stomach never lies. Oh, and by the way? – Drowning your stomach in alcohol won’t make it stop telling you the truth, either.

8 ) When meeting someone new and he or she seems to be behaving like an assh*le, show compassion first.
If after you display your sincere compassion, they are still acting like an assh*le, walk away. If they follow you, call the police.

9) Wear sunscreen on your face, neck and hands every day, winter and summer.
I don’t care how dark your skin naturally is. Wear it. You’ll remember me when you look in the mirror at age fifty. Always keep in mind that Your body is directly connected to your spirit. Look after your body. Exercise, floss and brush your teeth. Put nothing in your body that can permanently harm your spirit, including the wrong man.

10) And if you are in bed with a man and he’s the right man:
…meaning your stomach doesn’t hurt, he’s smiling at you, he knows your name, he’s not drunk and neither are you–for godsakes–enjoy yourself. He is not at all thinking about how fat your thighs look.

What warm, positive words on a cold day! So here is the challenge, make your own list! It can be 20, 10, 5, even 3 things (it is YOUR list after all) that you would love to tell yourself. Don’t list regrets, life is too short for that, rather, list the things you have the wisdom to see now, that you didn’t at a younger age and

    let us hear them!!

To encourage you all to share I’ll post my list:
1) Trust, love, and count on yourself, or else you’ll never be able to do those things for somebody else.
2) You really are prettier than you believe
3) Read and constantly educate yourself
4) Brush your teeth more often and wear your retainer!
5) Forgive and Forget a few more times, in the end love is better than resentment.
6) Talk to your grandparents more, you can’t imagine how much you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
7) On that note, don’t fight with your parents as much. Sure they are crazy, but to them so are you!
8 ) Never let other’s thoughts change the path you want to take
9) STOP worrying about money so much
10) STOP worrying so much in general, it’s hard but possible.

Love yourself!
~Gina Marie

23 Comments »

  1. Renee said,

    My list
    1) Love yourself, love your family, and love god. (compliments from my grandfather with one small adjustment)
    2) Live everyday to the fullest because you don’t know when your last day will arrive.
    3) Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you. These are the people who encourage you to do things that you would otherwise be scared to do, and also those people who are there for you during the tears and joys.
    4) When you find love hang on to it for dear life because it’s amazing. That feeling that nothing else in the world matters but the happiness your love creates.
    5) Manage your time. Because even when its managed you still always seem to feel that there is never enough time in the day to complete what you want to do.
    6) Write, read, talk, do anything to help get your feelings out there. Its never worth bottling up your feelings, even if you think nobody wants to hear them. You’ll find yourself feeling lighter and happier having these things off your chest.
    7) Keep in touch with your family and friends no matter how far apart you may become. Because without these people and relationships there is no meaning in life.
    8) Find that one piece of clothing, picture, jewelry, or object that reminds who you of who you want to be and keep it close to you. (Mine is a picture of me as a smiling child with my grandpa- where we both are full of spirit and life)
    9) Make a difference. This doesn’t have to be a world difference, but just make one. By the homeless man inside starbucks a cup of coffee and Crum cake. Donate money to Haiti, the Red Cross, anyone…as long as you know it will make a positive difference.
    10) Be yourself. Even if you don’t know who that may be….find yourself and stay true to yourself.

  2. JENSEN said,

    my list:
    1. take school more seriously and think about all the bad jobs you’ve had to motivate you
    2. stop freaking out about money, rent, bills..
    3. no one is out to get me and I have way more friends than enemies
    4. READ MORE BOOKS!
    5. give my family another chance
    6. be nicer to all of the planets creatures, including all the animals
    7. don’t get so angry so easily, let things slide more often
    8. watch less vh1, reality tv is not actual that important
    9. love my body no matter what
    10. be a better big sister

  3. Amanda Gabrielle said,

    This is a little hard because I just read so many great ones I want on my list, but let’s see…

    1) It doesn’t actually kill you.
    Watch “Under the Tuscan Sun” and you will understand where I’m coming from here. But basically, you are stronger than you could ever imagine, even when you don’t want to be.

    2) Your friends…. the ones who hate every boyfriend you’ve ever had, make you spit chocolate milk out of your nose from laughing so hard, change their outfit 6 times before you finally give them the shirt off your back because you know they like it the best… they are better than everyone else’s friends – never let them forget it.

    3) Boys don’t even like make-up.
    Seriously, ask them.

    4) Your pouch (that little gut you hate) – nobody sees it but you.

    5) And on that note… Love Your Thighs.
    I’m a dancer. I played volleyball. I know all about thighs. I have a lot of thigh. Love it or leave because try as I might, they aren’t going anywhere.

    6) Faith is what you make of it.
    Just because I don’t actively practice my childhood religion, does not mean that I don’t have faith. I have faith in many things. I just don’t kneel down to them in public for people to judge me on.

    7) Find that one sport, work out, art form, etc.. whatever that passion is that helps you let it all go & never, ever quit.

    8) “I confide in song lyrics, not bible verses.” [Regina Morin]
    There is song for every mood, every heartbreak, every happy moment… listen & let it help the feeling sink in bone deep. It’s good for you.

    ….That’s all I got :] Hope its enjoyed.

  4. Amanda Gabrielle said,

    And special, just for you & me, Gina:

    9) Be a hopeless romantic…

    10) …its better than being angry all the time

  5. regina said,

    1.) Appreciate your parents and everything they’ve sacrificed for you.
    They’ve really done more than they’ve bargained for and sometimes getting bitched at isn’t what they’ve wanted in return.

    2.) MOTHER KNOWS BEST.
    It’s hard to admit it, but she really does know everything, and after something happens, you’ll remember what she said. 9 out of 10 times she was right.

    3.) Realize the schools you went to were everything you needed.
    Even though you had to wear uniforms and conform to a religion, and begged every day in 7th and 8th grade to go to public schools, the schools you went to is why you think the way you do now, challenging everything.

    4.) Open up about things sooner than usual.
    There’s the big one. Always hiding how you feel and waiting until the moment you blow up to talk about your problems is not the best option. It’s the easiest, but in the long run it never helps.

    5.) You’ll regret the hurtful things you say to yourself from day to day.
    Someday when you’re old, and can’t actually do much, you’ll wish you did more when you were able to. Stop listening to yourself always say what a failure you are when now is the time to do something before it’s too late.

    6.) It’s okay to cry.
    Although you hate every minute of it, it’s seriously okay to cry. People may see you as more “real” if you’re able to share emotions so easily and out in the open.

    7.) Really try hard to not let your anger get the best of you.
    Some people just love to get a rise out of your emotions. Calm down and think before flipping out over nothing. If you’ve thought it through and you still can’t calm down, then maybe yes you’re allowed to be angry, but don’t rationalize everything to make it okay to scream and yell at people.

    8.) It’s not normal to hate yourself so strongly.
    Okay, maybe it’s not normal to hate yourself at all. But seriously, give yourself a breather once and awhile and let them heal from the last blow.

    9.) Appreciate every single person in your life.
    Sometimes the people who are always there for you get over looked when you’re having trouble with someone else. Remember that when you’re going through problems, there is at least one person helping you, so don’t forget to show them how grateful you are, or at least just say thanks.

    10.) Take a breather before thinking about anything!
    It will seriously be okay..i promise.

  6. cess said,

    1. Say thank you. A lot. Especially to your mom.
    2. Appreciate the people who are truly there for you. I’m talking about the people who no questions asked would pick your drunk ass up at three in the morning from 70 miles away when you’ve got their car. There are people in your life who care about you so much so realize it !!!!!
    3. Get your work done. Stop regretting not studying for your tests and just do it woman!
    4. Call, text, skype, tokbox.. by any means keep in touch with your friends. Basically all of my close friends go to a different school, but if anything it’s made me appreciate them 309184093123 times more. And I don’t plan on losing touch anytime soon!
    5. Don’t limit yourself. Just because the future can be intimidating, there is no point to muting your dreams.
    6. Figure out who you really are, not who everyone else thinks you are.
    7. Keep your room clean. Lame I know…but it’s like my number one problem.
    8. Be happy. You can’t love anything else until you learn to love yourself and be content with who you are.
    9. Be honest, especially to yourself.
    10. Never give up on something you truly want.

  7. robbie said,

    Gina and salerno-

    Your blog is great! And this post is very insightful even not being a woman.. Yet

  8. Maria Gallagher said,

    okay.
    1. Give your mother a break.
    She works her whole life around you, still. She pushes you because she knows that your growing up and need to learn some of the hard stuff by yourself.

    2. Forgive.
    Oh brother, thats a hard one. Forgiving is something that is so hard and maybe it will take your whole life, but it’s worth it. I never want to lose someone without forgiving them because then it will be impossible to forgive myself.

    This also means yourself. For the time you were lost, when you hated yourself, and never let anyone in. Forgive yourself for the time you lost because if you don’t you’ll lose even more.

    3. Always have hope.
    Hope that things will get better, things will get done, and things will be okay.

    4. Write.
    I just picked up my old journal today and wrote down some thoughts. It was amazing.

    5. Value your education.
    School sucks. Why can’t I just live my life already? At school I tend to move through the day just to get to the next one. But always remember that your education will give you the tools to make your life everything you want it to be, and allow you to do all the things you want to.

    6. Stop and enjoy the sun.
    Everyday the sun is out…and winter in ohio its rear…but stop and take a look at everything around. Everything looks beautiful in the sun.

    7. Never stop creating.
    Using your creativity is more powerful than you think. And everyone has it!!! Writing, drawing, poems, everyone has creativity and using it can be empowering.

    8. Listen more.
    Even if you think what someone is talking about has nothing to do with you, you can probably make it relate. Everyone has a story, sometimes it just takes listening between the lines to hear it.

    9. Never forget to laugh.
    Or at least smile. It makes everything seem lighter.

    10. Don’t forget to look back.
    Don’t dwell on the past things you can never change but look back to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again. And NEVER forget where you came from and the path you took to be where you are now.

  9. Jessica R said,

    1. Everything will work out one way or another, it always has and always will.
    2. Don’t waste your time worrying about something because 90% of the time it won’t happen and you’ve just given your energy to it.
    3. Set realistic goals and stick to them.
    4. Let people get to know you, and get to know other people.
    5. Only you can decide who you want to be in life and who you are going to be.
    6. Do what you want to do NOW before it’s over, and cherish every moment you spend doing it.
    7. Take pictures, you’ll regret it later when you didn’t. And have YOUR picture taken, smile, and like it as much as you can.
    8. When you care about someone don’t be afraid to give them your heart, your whole heart, and really be in love before your chance with them is gone.
    9. There is no defined role as Step-mother; when taking on this role YOU decide what it means to you and what is to be expected of you.
    10. Talk to your ancestors, get to know them, and write everything down. One day it will mean the world when they’re gone.

    I wrote this kind of quickly, but I think it’s what I wanted to say…

  10. Allie Webb said,

    1) You can’t please everyone – sometimes it CAN be all about you
    2) Don’t get too caught up with what’s in front of you – take time to relax (stop and smell the roses)
    3) Trust your instincts and don’t feel guilty about it
    4) Don’t be afraid to reach out to people – don’t fear rejection
    5) Pamper yourself and LIKE it
    6) Appreciate those who are always there for you – tell them you love them
    7) Have fun as much as humanly possible – laugh like gina :]
    8) Get your 8 hours! And drink lots of water – DON’T GET SICK
    9) Force yourself to exercise even if you feel grody and depressed – it usually helps
    10) Love yourself – that’s the most attractive thing about you

  11. Hayley said,

    1. Don’t chase, be chased. It’s so much more fun and chances are, you’re less likely to get hurt.
    2. Spend less time on your phone/facebook, and spend more time in the moment. You are going to remember the real times, not the texts that once upset you/made you smile.
    3. When you are super stressed and feel like you have so much to do, crank the music, dance, and take a moment to discover the real importance of your to do list, in the grand scheme of things.
    4. ALWAYS listen to and respect your mom, you can’t get more honest and good-for-ya advice than that.
    5. Become at peace with who you are, ASAP.
    6. Always listen for advice, but don’t always take it.
    7. JUNIOR HIGH GRADES don’t matter. Don’t let em fool you! (I had a 4.0, and I’m bitter).
    8. Don’t get a boyfriend until your married. Yah, do the math.
    9. Do silly things just because you can.
    10. Look at every birthday as a day of getting older, but an opportunity to act younger. Grow old, not up.

  12. Julie Mussio said,

    Every failure is a learned lesson, God Bless, Mom

  13. Rachel N. said,

    1.) Never take insults personaly. Chances are that the person saying them is angry and not thinking right.

    2.) Never say an insult. It hurts you to hurt the ones you love.

    3.) Don’t wait until the last moment to do something that needs to be done. You’ll get stressed and loose sleep.

    4.) Take chances and meet new people. If you don’t you’ll become depressed, because however shy you are, you need social interaction. Humans are social animals by nature.

    5.) Don’t be imposibe and be flexible.

    These are the things that I try and do, but I’m not the best at sticking to them.

  14. olivia said,

    1) Don’t ever regret anything. Unexpected things happen. We live and learn. If we don’t make mistakes, we never know how to make things right again.

    2) Realize who your true friends are. If you go out of your way to be there for them and they don’t or won’t reciprocate, then they probably aren’t the best friend anyway.

    3) Stop freaking out about what other people think, honestly, it really is true when people say that the one’s who mind don’t matter and the ones who matter don’t mind. So what, its corny but its true.

    4) At the end of the day, what your left with is family. Don’t be so hard on them and try harder to get along with your siblings. The stuff they’re going through may be tougher than your own.

    5) Forget about MOST of the idiots from your high school. When they say ignorant things, just remember that in about 5 or 10 years, they’re not gonna be so amazing. Noone cares about who hooked up with who or touchdown records anymore.

    6) Count to ten before you react when your angry. Its the oldest advice in the book but really it works.

    7) If you want something, go after it. Really. You’re only young once and the worst risk you can take is not taking any risks.

    8) LAUGH MORE. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, especially around guys. If your not being yourself, your being boring.

    9) Appreciate EVERYONE. And every single moment you share with them. You never know when the last time you’ll see them will be.

    10) Trusting people is hard. “Only fools trust others” Be a fool. You can never love someone fully without trusting them.

    • Rita said,

      1) Live in the moment. It’s all we have…
      2) If you have a choice of being right or being kind…always choose to be kind.
      3) Listen…it’s the greatest compliment you can pay to someone.
      4) Smile…you will definitely make someone’s day!
      5) Don’t take yourself too seriously!
      6) Music is the language for the soul…sing whenever you get the opportunity (even if you don’t sing well!)
      7) Give thanks and be grateful everyday to whatever power you believe in. Realize how lucky you are to even be born not to mention living in this country at this time with all the opportunities right in front of you.
      8) Hang out with positive people.
      9) Forgive everyone. Hate and bad feelings take up too much room…let the good stuff in!
      10) No matter what…find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it. The money will follow. (Never settle for a job because of the money…you can’t buy happiness!)
      11) Reach for the stars! Whatever you focus your energy on will get done…just do it!!

  15. Patricia said,

    It was delightful not only to see my article posted here, but to see so many other fantastic lists posted by such dynamic women. We’re definitely getting smarter as a sex!

    So glad you enjoyed my work.

    Patricia Volonakis Davis

  16. […] let me say THANK YOU for sharing your lists with me, for the encouragement and also for such a personal glimpse into your minds! I can’t […]

  17. Danielle said,

    What inspiring words! Here’s some of my list.

    1. My children are always worth it, and someday they won’t want to hang out with me anymore, so I should put down the laundry-grading-cooking and just be with them.
    2. It’s not just about love, it’s also how hard you are willing to work for all those you love.
    3. You can have compassion and forgiveness without acceptance.
    4. Things DO NOT happen for a reason, but you can find reason in all things.
    5. People can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell them what you need.
    6. You have a GREAT ass.
    7. You always get back more than you give.
    8. When in doubt, pray…
    9. …and listen…
    10. …and sing!

    Thank you, Because I Am a Woman!

  18. Natalie said,

    1. It really doesn’t matter if people think you are cool.
    A good person, maybe. In general it’s good to be seen as someone to befriend, someone to confide in, someone to laugh with. But cool? Honestly, no one cares as much as you think they do. In the end it’s the what we do to make the world a better place, not what clothes you wear.

    2. Get involved! Find something you absolutely LOVE and stick with it. I feel like I could be great at a lot more things if I would have embraced them when I was young.

    3. YOU DON’T NEED ALL THAT MAKEUP. You don’t need to continuously add layers throughout the day. Contrary to your addiction to it, you DONT need it, it DOESN’T make you look prettier, and it certainly DOES NOT make you look older. On the contrary, you look silly!! Self confidence in your natural, unique beauty is the most attractive thing in the world.

    4. Don’t chase after a boy if he doesn’t chase you back. If a guy really deserves you, then, it shouldn’t be that hard!! There’s someone out there waiting, but you’ll never find him if your’e always stuck in limbo with mr. will-he-text-me-back-or-not

    5. Welcome new experiences. It’s the only way to grow!

    6. Your mom is the most amazing person in the world.

    7. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You’ll never be happy if you see happiness as something relative to others. What you COULD have (but is out of your control) isn’t important. And if you are going to compare yourself, then look to the majority of the world less fortunate than you. Realize just how blessed you are. You’re always a lot better off then you think.

    8. In addition to #7, there’s a WHOLE WORLD out there outside your bubble. It’s scary. It’s magical. It’s waiting for you.

    9. It doesn’t matter how stupid you look, or that you just can’t pop your hips like that girl over there….dance anyways.

    10. Enjoy your mom’s amazing home-cooked meals everyday. Have seconds. And thirds. You’ll miss it.

  19. Natalie said,

    p.s. I just saw grammatical errors and its killing me. hahaha ahh!! I KNOW THAT THEN IS NOT THE SAME AS THAN!

    p.p.s. I love this blog 🙂

  20. […] I feel like I haven’t talked (…written) to any of you in far too long! So to start off March (a very important month for becauseiamawoman- it’s National Women’s History Month!!) I thought I’d do another list! […]

  21. […] and I love to hear from you all, (remember 10 Things I’d Love To Tell My Younger Self?) which is what gave us the idea for today’s post. From now on every Tuesday either Gina or […]


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